Procastination…Planning your way to Paralysis!!!

Let me set the scene... so you’ve set yourself a goal, you are feeling focused, you are excited and as ready as ready could be…you know what you want and you’re geared up and about to go after it!!!

The goal we have in mind could be absolutely anything from getting an A in an exam, to mustering up the courage to talk to our secret crush who no doubt we feel is God’s absolute masterpiece, or it could be to propose the great business idea we’ve been working on for weeks to our boss whom we are convinced is a miserable sod who hates us, or our goal could be to go out on the bold road to entrepreneurship and start something unique of our own.

You see what often happens is initially we’re fired up, we’re unstoppable we’re like a bulldozer ready to knock down anything that wants to stand in our way. We go through the process of sitting down and actually put together a plan and we strategise on how we intend on reaching our goal.  For example we want to get an A in our exam.  So we sit down and bring out the highlighters and fancy colourful pens and coloured cards we purchased from WHsmith to put together a detailed revision timetable. Oh yeah, also whilst in Whsmith we decide to get some new revision notepads and gel pens and while we’re at it half of their stationary stock in order to ‘aid our revision’… (Yes I was that student). We go that little step further with our timetables and begin to decorate with artistic patterns and, we draw little smiley faces in our timetable where we’ve allocated ourselves breaks.

By the time we finish with our timetable, it looks a little more like an abstract piece of art than a serious revision timetable something we could find hanging in the Tate Modern gallery. We stick it up on our bedroom wall right beside our beds. Then we bring out all our books and lay them out in perfect order…clearly all the designing and out pouring of our creative energy has drained us, so we decide to give ourselves a well earned break.

I often ask why we do this to ourselves… Procrastination is such a killer! No doubt the longer we leave something the bigger and scarier it becomes, so we pretend and ‘plan’ our way to paralysis…we stare at our revision timetable every morning as its above our beds yet deceive ourselves into believing we’ll get to it after we’ve finished watching our favourite episode on T.V.

We walk past our secret crush everyday having rehearsed in front of the mirror what we’d say to them (we’ve all had conversations with ourselves in front of the mirror…or I’m I the only one.. *awkward face*) and when the opportunity comes, we stand there looking terribly awkward and find an excuse to postpone our chat. Okay how about presenting our fantastic business idea to our boss, the truth of the matter is folks your boss may never come up to say to you and say, ‘Hey I think you’re extremely talented, do you have any fantastic business ideas to share with me?’ Your crush may never come up to you with a beaming smile and say ‘ Emm so I’ve seen how you’ve been staring at me from across the office, is there any reason for this?’

I’ve realised we can fall into the habit of over planning and over complicating in actual fact not so complicated matters. There is no such thing as a perfect opportunity, so if we go through life planning and waiting for things to be absolutely perfect and for us to feel 100% ready and motivated to take action we’ll be planning ourselves to paralysis.

We may never feel like we’ve got the sufficient qualifications, experience, confidence or finances to start something of our own or to take that leap and put ourselves out there. It’s often a lot to do with the anxieties associated with actually starting something; we’d rather just plan and remain inactive sitting nice and cosy in our comfort zones where scary monsters don’t exist. We choose to procrastinate and we don’t take the necessary action to reach our goals. The more we engage in these kind of distracting behaviours and activities the harder it actually becomes to buckle down and get on.

Some words of advice….THINK AND PLAN JUST DONT OVERTHINK AND PLAN YOUR WAY TO PARALYSIS

TAKE A LEAP AND JUST DO IT…!

Written by our new guest blogger Deborah Yishak http://deborahyishak.wordpress.com/about/

Join us at our next event PROCRASTINATION COMBAT Wednesday 13th June 2012!!!!


Book your seat here http://procrastinationcombat.eventbrite.com/

BORN WITH A GIFT EVENT “Who Said I Can’t?”

You are about to embark on my experience in what could only be described as an inspirational and eventful night called “Who Said I Can’t?”

This delightful evening started with reception and refreshments as everyone arrived. The event organiser (Ms Careeta-Robert Green) was absolutely on point as to the image she was putting out there. The decor in each corner was a constant reminder of where you were so you don’t lose FOCUS. The event began - Careeta introduced each of the speakers.

As I part-take in the registration of this event I only caught the first speech about taking action. This was done by Junior Ogunyemi; Author of a book called How To Be A Student Entrepreneur.  Junior discussed how sometimes in life you need to just throw your trainers over the fence and go and get them! It was delivered brilliantly and could relate to everyone in the audience.

Quote: “You don’t have to be great to start but you have to START to be great”

The second speaker of the night was Dean Carby, founder and director of VNV Sounds. He gave us a brief journey into his life as a risk taking business man. He painted a picture of a DJ, Event Organiser, Promoter and Business Owner (quite an impressive package) His gift was to:

• provide experiences to his clients
• create memories

What I liked about this speaker is that he came from nothing as he illustrated in his presentation. Dean then went on to show other people who had worked their way up showing old pictures of influential people such as Jay-Z, Oprah Winfrey, Obama, Duncan Bannatyne and many more to name, sharing their journey in becoming successful. He made you feel that no matter how uncomfortable your journey is, where you come from is a significant part that has led you to be the person you are now. Your past does not equal your future!

Quote: “Your title or what you do does not define you”

“Who Said I Can’t?” workshop

The workshop started out with everyone speaking to the person next to them, breaking the ice by getting to know each other.

Careeta began her presentation about her journey growing up as an average girl not knowing her core values and what she really wanted out of life. At the time she couldn’t tap into her GIFT. She compared life to an IPAD – we should all encourage ourselves to grow. Why stop at one level when there are many levels to conquer after all Who Said You Can’t? I learnt that the only person stopping you is YOU it’s all in the mind set.

We then did some activities about what the following mean to YOU? Here are some of my responses:

Success – There are so many different answers to this one. Success is more than what we normally perceive it to be.

Money – The ability to live comfortably

Career – A general course or progression in your working life

Quote: “Don’t let your comfort zone become your prison” Steve Whyte

What do you believe in? I believe we are all destined to exceed our full potential.

Where do beliefs come from? There are so many different answers and views of where people believe their beliefs are generated from. These were some of the examples given at the workshop for everyone to take away and think about:

·         Family

·         Society

·         Partners

·         Our minds

·         Childhood exposures and emotions

·         Media

·         Religion

·         Culture and perception

Are you limiting yourself? Beliefs can hold you back, so it is important to ask the question...Who Said I Can’t?

Quote: “Who said sky is the limit when there are foot prints on the moon”

WHO SAID I CAN’T? YOU DID NOW WE ALL SHOULD SAY YES WE CAN!

Hope to see you at the next Born with a GIFT event on Wednesday 13^th June 2012 from 6.30pm to 9.30pm at the Ramada Hotel Ealing! More details to follow.

Check out www.bornwithagiftevents.com or follow @BornwithaGIFT and subscribe to the mailing list and be the first to know!

Many thanks

Kemesha

Did you know life is like an IPAD?

Things are changing QUICK! We are bombarded with so much information on a daily basis that it can be challenging to know sometimes whether we are coming or going. Sound familiar?


The new Ipad 3 was released today which will no doubt be another amazing product from Apple. They constantly reinvent themselves with their products to ensure that they remain competitive and valuable within the market place. They spend time looking at ways they can become better and add more ways to be useful to their customers. So what happens when they invest in themselves and constantly improve? People get excited about the products, they anticipate the launches, they sell out very quickly and people feel like they have gained immense value from their new purchase. Imagine if Apple never invested in their development? They would have created the IPAD and there would be no other versions, which would have been it! Competitors would have built a similar machine and they would have lost all of their customers as they were not innovating quickly enough.

Well life is pretty much like an IPAD! How you may ask? As the world evolves, for us to keep up we must learn to grow and evolve as people. If we are looking for a new job we must know what we have to offer to employers, likewise if we are starting a new business we must understand our strengths and weaknesses so we can enhance them and become even better.

Guess what? Many of us do not spend enough time on ourselves. We focus on one area whilst neglecting others! I raise my hand to say yes I am guilty of this sometimes as well :) However once we have acknowledged that something is not working for us we can make a CHOICE if we want to change it and make it better. That sounds really easy like 1 + 1 =2 right! lol Well actually it is not always that easy to improve. We face various external challenges from friends, family and negative people but the big major ones tend to come from ourselves. Our beliefs can hold us back from doing things that are out of our comfort zone, our beliefs can pave our way forward or cement us to the ground!!!

Beliefs are the stories that we tell ourselves about the world, they shape how we live our lives every day. We may not realise how important they are until something happens and we are forced to change our beliefs. Have you ever had a belief about something, and then you had a negative/positive experience that made you change your whole belief system? You may not even realise that this has happened; but it will shape your behaviour in life, the decisions you make, the places you go and the people you attract into your life. Are your current beliefs systems stopping you from moving forward to where you want to be? Do you get to a certain stage and then stop only to return back to where you started?

If you can relate to any of the above then we would love for you to join us at our next workshop “Who Said I Can’t?” We are going to be breaking down belief systems in a fun empowering way. The room will be full of people who are serious about moving forward in life and stepping up their game. Many people are already very “successful” in what they do and are ready to crank up the levels and stop making excuses.

With a month to go we have already got people booked to attend another fantastic night! We will have refreshments and guest speakers who have broken through barriers and made it happen in their industry. Did I mention we have complimentary parking at the hotel for all workshop attendees and we are opposite Ealing Common Train station.

Limited spaces available and early bird rates apply!
 
BOOK YOUR SEAT NOW

We have also updated http://www.bornwithagiftevents.com/ with new information and pictures check it out!

Have a great weekend

Careeta Robert-Green

"What's Your GIFT?" Let's break it down...

So, it was that time of the month again... Born with a GIFT Event time! (A bit cheesy... sorry).  On Wednesday 8th February, all roads led to the Ramada Hotel for the "What's your Gift? Motivational Workshop" held by Born with a GIFT Events.  After going to the "Let's Get Focused" event last year, I couldn't wait for the next workshop and was prepared to get another healthy dose of knowledge and inspiration.  

So, what did I learn from "What's your GIFT?”...

That Sadia Naveed makes amazing cakes!  Facebook "Cakes made with love".

I learnt that you never know who you're sitting next to! During the workshop Careeta took an inventory of some of the skills that people in the room had - once she was finished the list was filled with all sorts of skills, from Reiki Healing, Film Festival Directors and Graphic Designers to Music Production!

I learnt that it might not be a good idea to delete my Facebook. I've grown to detest Facebook, I don't like how it publically displays all of your information, it's a bit of a time waster, and I do not have nine hundred and something REAL friends in REAL life, so basically my timeline is a forum for people I vaguely know. The whole thing just annoys me really. However, I learnt at the workshop that social media/networks are important to your brand and reputation as a company or person. In present day, it's not rare for a person to Google or Facebook you to find out a little more about who you are and an online presence that supports the brand you've chosen to represent yourself with, is something worth considering  (I guess I'll have to change my profile picture).

WHAT'S YOUR GIFT?

As in the last event, there were two amazing speakers Junior Ogunyemi, Author of “How To Be A Student Entrepreneur” & Camille Johnson, Founder of “Pink Ribbon Lingerie”.

"Self -Talk is IMPORTANT!" - Careeta Robert Green.

During the workshop Careeta asked everyone to note down three negative things we say to ourselves often. She explained the importance of changing this negativity to positivity. One example was, "I procrastinate” and this could be changed to "I always do what I'm supposed to do, even when I don't feel like doing it". The reason for this is because we become what we believe about ourselves and these beliefs are shaped by what we tell ourselves. So self-talk is a good place to start to find an explanation for where you are right now. What negative things do you say to yourself on a regular basis?

Another thing is making sure that those around you are speaking positivity into your life and that you aren't judging yourself through other people’s eyes. Forget what everyone else thinks, it's your life.

Remember: You become what you believe about yourself. These beliefs are shaped by what you accept/reject from others beliefs about you & what you tell yourself about you.

"Good is good enough, things don't have to be perfect" - Camille Johnson

Camille Johnson talked about starting up and running her business Pink Ribbon Lingerie. She spoke about how wanting everything to be perfect can get in the way of actually getting things done. "If people like your product/service, they'll invest in it" - It doesn't have to be (your idea of) perfect, as long as it's good.

Remember: Focusing on 'why' you're doing something can help to shape 'how' you do it. It doesn't have to be done perfectly, if the reason why you're doing it doesn't require perfection.

"Muhammed Ali called himself the greatest before he became the greatest" - Junior Ogunyemi.

Junior Ogunyemi talked about skills, networks and inspiration. He talked about the importance of relationships within your network; because once you have relationships you then have more chance of access to finances and resources for your ideas. Another thing is, going for what you want in spite of fear. We have to be willing to push past False Experiences Appearing Real - FEAR- in order to do what we love.

Remember: Champions are willing to do what they hate, in order to do what they love.

Something that each speaker said that stuck in my mind:

Careeta Robert Green: "You got your gift for free, so you should share it with others".

Junior Ogunyemi: "I failed many times, but when I'm in articles and things, they don't talk about the failures, all they know are the successes".

Camille Johnson: "Declined does not always mean failure".

If you are interested in meeting great people and taking your life to the next level then do not miss the next event! "Who Said I Can't?" will be held on Wednesday 18th April 2012 from 6.30pm - 9.30pm

Limited spaces available and early bird rates apply so BOOK NOW! Click here http://whosaidicant.eventbrite.com/

Written by guest blogger Tosin Badmus

Are you ready to dig deep inside yourself and unwrap your GIFTS?

Firstly a big Happy New Year!!!

Hope all is well with you and that things have started to move forward for you this year.

Most of us are so busy working, studying and just living life that we don’t take the time out to sit down and focus on ourselves.  What key skills/ GIFTS do we have that we are not fully utilising?  What inspires us the most to be better and work more towards achieving our goals?  Believe it or not many of us already have skills and GIFTS that we use regularly however something distracts us from being the best we can be.  Yes other people, situations and circumstances get in the way but one of the biggest reasons that we do not fully utilise our skills is because of ourselves!! Yes we try and self destruct when we are doing well.  When life starts going good, for example we may have got a new job, new contract, passed an exam ...hooray!!!  Then all of a sudden we start feeling that we are not good enough and maybe do not deserve the success we have worked so hard for...  Sound familiar? 

We will be looking at self sabotage and ways to help overcome this; we will also look at our skills and strengths whilst networking with likeminded people.  Coaching is a powerful tool that enables people to look within themselves and pull out the best bits.  As a certified Life Coach I have worked with many people on how to find their skills and build the confidence to use, enhance and share them with others who can benefit.  Click here to see the official website for Careeta Robert-Green www.careetarobertgreen.com

Let us know if will be joining us for the “What’s Your GIFT?” Motivational Workshop on Wednesday 8^th February 2012 from 6.30pm (registration to start at 7pm) until 9.30pm at Ramada Hotel Ealing Common?  We will be celebrating Born with a GIFT’s 2^nd Year anniversary so lots of surprises and treats in store! The theme of the event will be “Loving yourself” in line with Valentines day.

BOOK NOW to secure your seat http://whatsyourgift-esearch.eventbrite.co.uk/?srnk=1&ebtv=C

Limited £10 tickets or £15 on the door! Seats filling up quickly !

Look forward to seeing you at the next event J

Check out some video footage of our “Let’s Get FOCUSED!” launch in November right here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnVrvIboczI&context=C36261edADOEgsToPDskJ05yQ_8Guy_zYKEcRPBIop

If you have any questions just let me know.

Kind regards

Careeta

www.bornwithagiftevents.com

What I learnt from “Let’s Get FOCUSED!” by Tosin Badmus

If there was only one reason to attend the Born with a Gift ‘Let’s Get Focused’ Workshop event, it would be to see Careeta Robert Green’s beautiful face. There was however, a plethora of other reasons. The main one is the wealth of information and advice that was given by Careeta and the amazing speakers – Sonia Brown, Carly Ward and Denis Asamoah. To say that I was inspired by this event is an understatement because not only did it come at just the right time but I felt that the speakers were so honest and gave straight-forward advice that I could apply to my life immediately.

The evening started with reception and refreshments and after turning up (a little late...) I was welcomed inside the beautiful venue to a drink and room full of people. The event began - Careeta gave a little talk on the programme of the event and introduced each of the speakers. After this Careeta began the workshop, and then gave away some goodies!

Four things that I learnt from the Born With A Gift – Let’s Get Focused! Event

1.   “FOCUS – Follow One Course Until Successful”

Focus is so important, without it we cannot accomplish anything great - Read that again.

                                       

I meditated for the first time today, and really came to terms with how to focus on nothing. Meditation is essentially focusing on nothing – clearing your mind of all the noise, worry and thoughts that fill your mind 24/7- just giving your mind a bit of a break really. It sounds really easy, but it was one of the hardest things.

My mind kept on drifting into thoughts about what I need to do today, noises from outside and I kept on opening my eyes because I thought I heard something in my house, when I was (supposed to be) home alone. But I was resilient and forced myself to focus.

I got distracted again. Then I regained focus. I got distracted again. Then I regained focus. I got distracted again. Then I regained focus... and kept focus... and kept focus... then I realised... “Hey, I’m meditating!” It proved that being resilient and following course gets you to the goal. Remember: If you let distraction steer your mind – you’ll be going round in circles. But if you continue forward when distraction comes - you reach the goal.

2.   “Goals help us to keep focused”

Careeta gave a great analogy about goals. She said; imagine a football game with no goal posts – players would just be running around the field fouling & tackling each other but there would be no objective, it would be pointless.

The goal posts are there to remind players about the overall objective. Why are they playing this game, what do they want to achieve? They want to score goals because that brings them closer to the overall objective – to win the game.

So goals are necessary to keep us focused because they are the stepping stones to the overall objective.  E.g. Overall objective: to write a book. Goal: to write a 300 word synopsis for your story that will serve as the foundation of your idea and characters by 1^st December. Remember: No one climbs a mountain in one big step.

3.   SMART goals - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound.

A few days ago I created a ‘By Today’ to-do list on my phone. I note down all the goals I have to accomplish for the next day only. I make sure that they are SMART goals. And the next day I commit to accomplishing them all.

It could be something really small that requires little effort but I’ve been putting off - for example yesterday I erased “buy theatre ticket” from the list. I’d heard about a play that I wanted to go and see but just hadn’t got around to booking it, and finally after pointless procrastination – I booked it!

Making our goals SMART makes them clear and achievable – and this helps us to commit to accomplishing them.

Putting a completion date on a goal and committing to it really helps because I can be the best procrastinator in the world (not anymore!). You can also make a big goal seem less daunting by dividing it into small, really basic goals and focusing on one or two every day. Remember: If you focus on each step, instead of the whole mountain, it will probably take you half the time to climb – That doesn’t mean think small. THINK BIG & THEN ACT SMALL, OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

4.    Invest In Yourself!

There’s nothing like a guy/girl that looks good, smells good and has everything on your ‘check-list’... and then they open their mouth and it’s like..... -____- all attraction gone!  Well, our lives can reflect this. We can have all the external things that are considered good things but we haven’t invested in the development of our internal person – not just for successful entrepreneurship  but also for personal development - because who you are is a  foundation for what you do, where you go, who you associate with and everything else.  

An example of this could be; driving a really expensive car and then not being able to keep up with insurance payments - this person could invest in themselves by buying some personal finance books.

Another example is someone who works non-stop for 14 hours every day and neglects their health – this person could invest in themselves by eating well, sleeping well and being active etc. Sonia Brown said ‘Do a SWOT analysis on yourself’ – which I really need to do... (It’s now on my ‘By today’ to do list for tomorrow)J.

 Remember: You must first BE, before you DO, and then you can HAVE.

Something that each speaker said that stuck in my mind:

Careeta Robert Green: “Only I can make it happen, success is my destiny”

Sonia Brown: “Some people are bad mind you know! (laughs) That’s Caribbean slang (laughs) ... some people hate you because you’ve got ambition – don’t take it personal”

Carly Ward: “Contact the person you aspire to and ask for their help, chances are they’ll be more than willing to give thirty minutes of their time over coffee”

Denis Asamoah: “In order to be focused you need to have a vision or goal, so you can track your progress”

I hope to see you at the next Born with a Gift event!

Tosin

The next workshop is "What's Your GIFT?" Wednesday 8th February 2012 6.30pm to 9.30pm at the Ramada Hotel Ealing Common BOOK NOW http://whatsyourgift.eventbrite.co.uk/

Check out www.bornwithagiftevents.com and suscribe to our mailing list and be the first to know!

"I Choose!"

"Outstanding people have one thing in common; An absolute sense of mission!” – Zig Ziglar

There is no such thing as succeeding by accident.

In other words; we can gather all the resources we want or think we need – all the quotes, all the contacts, all the good intentions however, unless we actually begin our mission we cannot asucceed.

Now, I’m one to talk – I’ve got a Business Law exam in approximately 5 days and 1 hour. I’ve got all my books open and ready on my bed, my revision timetable, my pens/pencils, and I’ve got a separate tab open on which I’m supposed to be researching contract law cases – but yet I’m writing this blog. Or watching TV, or on the internet, or on the phone, depending on the day. I seriously need to GET A GRIP. It’s not like I don’t have the resources – everything I need is laid out before me. I’m just not making the conscious decision or the conscious effort to revise.

I’m not going to pass my exams by accident. It’s not going to happen out of luck or chance or fate. It’s not going to happen if I pray real hard without putting the work in. It’s not going to happen by thinking over lectures in my head and trying to remember what the lecturer said.

I need to make the decision – Either I will FAIL or SUCCEED. And the difference between the two is gaining a sense of mission about what I‘m about to do. I can have whatever result I like, but I need to make the choice. I know what to do in order to get a good grade and I know what to do in order to get a bad grade. So all that’s left to do is choose & follow through.

Is what you’re doing right now (or right before you started reading this) going to contribute to achieving your minor/major
goals? No? Me neither...

However we both need to understand that DREAMS are different from INTENTIONS. So, we can dream about a goal but if we don’t intend to fulfil them with ACTION then what use are they?
It’s easier said than done, but it’s easier done now, than regretting later, right?

So make a choice. (I will too.) :D

Much Love!

Tosin

 

 

Thank you Tosin for that fantastic blog! We look forward to welcoming you at our launch for Born with a GIFT Events.  “Let’s Get Focused!” Motivational Workshop will be held on Wednesday 23^rd November 2011 from 6.30pm – 9pm at the Ramada Hotel Ealing. At this launch we will be looking at how to set goals and learn some tools and tips to help keep focused and motivated on goals! Limited Early Bird Tickets only £8 in advance click here or £10 on the door send us your full name and e-mail address to info@bornwithagift.com

 

For further information click here